Stuff Matt Likes

Matt is a busy guy. Hillel, Next Act, Dance Troupe, and i3 are all organizations in which he is actively and prominently involved. What better way to enjoy himself in these groups than by having all his closest friends join them too? Even if almost everyone ultimately refuses to join, Matt lives for the pursuit of membership, the thrill of the chase. Especially because on some occasions, against all reason, it works.

He tries on a regular basis to convince his nearest and dearest that their lives would be greatly improved if only they joined [extracurricular of choice]. Not Jewish? That’s okay, there’s free Shabbat dinner for guests every once and a while. Do you show any hint of musical talent and live within twenty miles of 500 Memorial Drive? Do Next Act! We might even do High School Musical, or Sweet Charity! How can you refuse when one of them is about a hooker?? As for Dance Troupe, anyone can dance, and you only lose one entire week of your life to dancing, drama, and hairspray. It’s TOTALLY worth it, you have to join. Know how to hold a camera? How about you document your dorm’s life? Or you can star in the video! It’s the opportunity of a lifetime! Good luck avoiding his brilliantly crafted guilt traps, or denying that smouldering pout.

He loves trying new things, too, but never alone. Matt knows that there’s strength in numbers, so he wants a multitude there auditioning with him for the newest show on campus, or eating at a fancy restaurant. Matt likes force people out of their comfort zones, but most people just like watching him try.

While many dancers have a signature move, like the caterpillar, the coffee grinder, or even the robot, Matt’s signature while dancing can’t be found in the way he grooves to the music - it’s in his facial expression. To write about the nature of Matt’s dance face would be to attempt the impossible, to describe the undescribable (although some have come pretty close by calling it “angry but seductive”). The birth of the face, however, is a story that can - and should - be told.

Matt first developed his technique in a late-night encounter in Yuting and Lauren’s room, where few could observe the birth of greatness. Lauren watched as Yuting photographed Matt in a variety of poses, some straight, some over his shoulder, all with the intent of getting his look down. Though he tried, one can see in the photo to the right that his look only had “seductive” elements to it, and not enough anger. A few nights later, Matt perfected the badass element by having Yuting photograph him again, this time with a Nerf gun.

“In the actual dance, it lasted like a second,” Lauren observed, when asked about her experience with “the look”, as it’s come to be known. But what a second it was! Matt’s look is one for the ages - our children will be talking about those “angry but seductive” eyes for years to come.

Petros is Matt’s (and let’s face it, everyone else’s) favorite Harvard pop star, and Body Glow is Matt’s (and everyone else’s) favorite Harvard pop star music video. Though IvyGate called the song and video “weirdly mediocre”, Matt (and we) just can’t help but groove along to “Come on, baby; let’s get NAKID!” Stuff Matt likes about this particular song and video include:

• The fact that it’s filmed with Harvard girls as dancers
• The part filmed at the Harvard T stop
• “If you’re feeling sexy, we can make a video”
• The part where the girl rubs Petros’s sparkly spunk off her neck

Let’s face it - at a school like MIT, many people like to hold leadership positions. We all wait anxiously for the end of spring semester so that we can attend the dozens of extracurricular activity election meetings that  all last about a couple decades long, and Matt is no exception. As the treasurer for Hillel, the previous Next Act producer and this year’s Next Act director, the i3 video coordinator, and the bitch costume coordinator for Dance Troupe, Matt’s resume is rife with positions of power. Matt also works as a tour guide for MIT, for which he recites the history of MIT in his special soothing voice, all while walking backwards.

Perhaps Matt’s crowning achievement, however, was that one time when he greeted guests at a party at Susan Hockfield’s home. Matt usually lays the smackdown on those who are tardy, but when Susan Hockfield herself was late,  Matt was still happy to take her coat and direct her to the dining room for cocktails.

There’s no doubt that Matt has extremely bad taste in television shows. Yes, it’s true that most people won’t miss their guilty pleasure of Grey’s Anatomy on Thursday evenings, or the stray episode of Gossip Girl after a long day, but most would never admit to it in polite conversation. Matt, however, will often preface a conversation with the phrase, “Do you watch _________?” The answer to this question is always a resounding “NO”, and the blank can be filled in with such gems as:

• “Desperate Housewives”, a comedic drama about four housewives and one total slut bitch named Edie
• “The Paper”, a reality television show on MTV which covers the lives of a high school newspaper staff as they whine about filling out college applications, focusing mainly on the neurotic editor-in-chief
  
• “A Shot at Love II With Tila Tequila”, another MTV reality TV show about a Vietnamese “bisexual” woman-child who kicks the contestants out for making out with each other and not her and eventually, at the end of the show, quips, “I am going to Africa. I think maybe I will fall in love in Africa.”

This is not to say that Matt won’t watch good shows, as he can always be relied on to come over and watch “some ABC dot com”; however, if given the choice between a well-written, poignant episode of Arrested Development and last week’s My Super Sweet MTV Reality TV Show In The Hills About Making The Band, Matt will always choose the latter.

Matt does, however, draw the line at Sex and The City.